Thrilling History of Sex Toys

Thrilling History of Sex Toys

Pharaoh Moans and Victorian Secrets: A Brief History of Sex Toys

Evolutionary fact: people value sex as much as food.
So much so, our ancestors figured out dildos and fire at about the same time, thereby mastering the art of heating up their meals and, when the fire died down, staying warm in the cave even in the absence of their favorite caveman or woman.
The full history of sex toys is 30,000 years long. Here’s your highlight reel.

Rock hard

Paleontologists aren’t sure if the polished siltstone phallus of the Stone Age was used for ritual or insertional purposes, though we could hazard a guess: celebrations of male fertility from this era are uncommon. There’s a strong argument that these types of objects were more tools than toys, and were believed (and used!) to promote female fertility

Pharaoh moans

There’s an old rumor contending that Cleopatra DIY-ed the first vibrator by filling a hollowed-out gourd with angry bees. In reality, it’s more likely that she used insertive toys made of polished wood or stone. There’s even record of Julius Caesar presenting Cleopatra with an ornately carved, gold-inlaid, phallic sculpture. Sure beats the hell out of flowers.

It’s Greek to me

A highly resourceful and kinky bunch, ancient Greeks are reported to have fashioned dildos out of materials like leather, wood, and even bread. The penis-shaped loaves were known as “olisbokollikes.” Sounds like a pretty easy way to catch a yeast infection, if you ask me. The gluten-free variety were known as “olisboi,” and Greek soldiers were known to give them to their wives before going off to battle.

Ancient Egyptian fertility ritual artwork
Ancient Egyptian fertility ritual artwork